USELESS
Useless
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Useless coin
me

USELESS

Three dollar signs and not one of them ever worked. I roll well. That is the whole skill.

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01   THE TRICK

I have exactly one move.

I roll in a straight line until I stop, then I fall over. People clap the first time and never again.

02   THE COUCH

First place I ever landed.

Nobody moved that couch for nine years. I heard every argument in that room and I could not help with a single one.

CONTRACTsoon
NOBODY EVER TURNS ME OVER
03   THE MACHINE

It read me for four seconds.

Then it gave me back. It does that every single time and I get in the slot again anyway.

04   THE FOUNTAIN

People throw me in and wish for money.

I am the money. Nothing happens. We both sit there disappointed in slightly different ways.

05   THE GRATE

Round things find the grate.

This is physics. It was never a decision I made and I would like that on the record.

06   UNDER THE FRIDGE

It is warm under here.

Nobody is looking for me. I stopped rolling on my own terms and I am keeping that.